The parents of KN, 48, divorced when he was three years old. A huge conflict followed the divorce and KN and his older sister were only allowed to see their father on a few occasions every year. He grew up with his mother and sister and grandparents. His grandmother, who was a very strong and dominant woman, assisted his mother in raising him and his sister.
Years went by and the father did not show much interest in the children, probably because the mother and grandmother did their best to talk negatively about him. KN was often told, ‘Watch out, otherwise you might end up like your father.’ He never understood what he had to be careful about, so he developed into a child who never took any space. He always played by himself and was very quiet and calm. He never asked for anything. His sister was the opposite – a lively and adventurous little girl who had very definite ideas about how things should be. She was also very demanding.
In his early twenties, KN moved away from home to pursue his studies. When he was 25, he met his wife-to-be. Their marriage was harmonious most of the time, partly because KN never entered into conflict. He never stood up for himself in a strong way; rather, he avoided disagreements and in difficult situations he let his wife make the decisions. To her this was very confusing, as he had a profession that demanded otherwise. Her experience was that he behaved like two different personalities, one at work and the other at home. She could see that very clearly, as they had been colleagues before they married.
Though KN’s mother lived far away, she did her best to interfere in his family life. His wife found her very controlling and manipulative. Her own parents seldom told her how to act; in fact she had been used to having responsibility and freedom from the age of only five or six.
This brought a lot of frustration into the marriage. KN never stood up io his mother and she went on and on and on… It was obvious that KN was afraid of conflict, at least in his private life.
Finally his wife decided to stop meeting his family. She was tired of being the one who had to stand up for her own family without being supported by her husband.
This was not the only trouble in KN’s family. His sister, who had had a lot of problems in her family life, had divorced. At that point, for a lot of reasons, a major disagreement arose between the sister and the mother. The result was that the sister broke off all contact with both her mother and KN’s family. This cold war continued for ten years.
Within a month of starting to use the Supercoherence IAM Male frequency, KN began to change. Suddenly he could meet his mother on another level. As he put it, “I had to stand up for myself and my opinions. They are worth just as much as hers.”
He also stood up for himself in private and expressed his long-suppressed longing to ride a motorcycle. So he bought one, and shortly after that he bought a boat. The family lives near a big lake and he said to his wife, “That lake has been crying out for me for many years and I feel really free on a boat. If I don’t get one, I will regret it.”
The relationship with his sister also became warmer. While there were still disagreements between them, now he explained his opinion in a clear way and did not let himself down. She was astonished. She was definitely not used to a brother who told her what he wanted.
As KN said, “Well, she just has to get used to it!”
